Things I Learned This Weekend

Things I learned this weekend:

1. The cost of living in Malibu, CA is astronomical.
2. Some dogs actually prefer Charmin.
3. It takes roughly two weeks for an eligible bachelor in this town to procure a new girlfriend.
4. Dolly Partin's ride is a macked out Cadillac Escalade with tinted windows.
5. If Survivorman planned even a little, he probably wouldn't have to eat grass soup every episode.
6. Nicholas Cage is highly overrated.
7. The perfect temperature to cook a pizza is 600 degrees farenheit.
8. It is physically possible for a person to take out seven gallbladders in one day and entertain guests later that evening.
9. Man vs. Wild is a sitcom.
10. A jet-setter can get to any place in the world from Amsterdam (but as one person aptly questioned, "Once in Amsterdam, why leave?").
11. There are rumblings of a pro-am Bake-Off next spring in Paducah.
12. Cakebread Cellars cabernet tastes better than your generic $12 bottle of sale wine.
13. It's almost impossible to find a way to get someone to guess the word "chiffon" if you can't say the words fabric, dress or lemon. Thankfully, one person did.
14. Snow Prom does, in fact, exist.
15. It's impossible to karaoke a rap song after 3/4 bottle of wine.
16. Paducah wants a Coen Brothers film marathon at the Maiden Alley Cinema.
17. Bar soap works wonders on dreadlocks.
18. A person can interminably look like "the best friend."
19. France is sexy.
20. The mayor believes that Target is Paducah's own personal Jesus.