I awoke with a start this morning at 5 a.m. and a slightly sick feeling in my stomach. Vacation anxiety. It's only my second day and already I'm experiencing something akin to buyer's remorse: nagging guilt for fear of not spending my vacation days wisely. Why, why, why must I torture myself? How do I stop it? It's not even that I have been unproductive. Yesterday I washed (and wonder of wonders - put away) so many clothes that it came down to the unspeakable drudgery of sorting stray socks.

I am worried that I have missed the trash man. Every holiday week is the same. I wake up and look down the street to survey the numbers to make my decision. Only one lonely trash can sets at the curb. I have learned to trust only the retired neighbors for knowing the trash man's schedule, yet today there is dissension. My most trustworthy and least mobile retiree neighbor is the only one with her garbage at the ready. Do I blindly join her, dragging my already overflowing bin out to rest beside the bags of leaves that the trash man did not retrieve on designated Yard Waste Monday? There have been days when the potential embarrassment factor of dragging a sadly overstuffed bin back up the drive has outweighed the hope of an empty can by the end of the day...way too many days than an adult should have to admit.

Last night after yoga class, I went to eat with Eva and Suzanne at Tokyo Sushi. I was slightly self-conscious when I entered since I was still wearing my yoga garb and my face had that mushy makeup-mixed-with-sweat quality. No one cared.

Every time I order sushi, I forget what I ordered before it arrives and end up spending my entire dinner trying to decide what's in it. All of the sushi rolls have dumb sounding names most of which have no association with their contents. When I look at the sushi menu, I expect to see an exclamation point beside the name. I am not sure why. I guess I just think it would fit the name to have it followed by an !, i.e. Dragon Roll!, California Roll!, Fire Roll!. Italics really work sushi names, too.

I guess I should get off the computer. I have much anxiety to experience today while I hold onto Vacation Day Two like so much running water.

Namaste